Imagine this. You wake in the morning as the sun is just peaking over the horizon. You hear birds chirping and a gentle rustle of leaves being touched by the breeze. You have no immediate agenda for the morning other than to take your time and see how it unfolds. You decide to brew yourself some tea. You open the tin that holds your favorite loose leaf chai blend and…it’s empty. “Okay you think…I’ll just have my second favorite chai blend” and to your dismay, that tin is also empty!
You decide to put the kettle on anyway and find that the only tea is a single bag of Lipton. Then you notice you are out of your favorite creamer that makes all tea taste oh so sweet.
So, what’s you’re reaction? When your significant other walks into the kitchen what do you say?
Option one: “Good morning, my beloved. Sleep well? Did you see the sunrise?”
Option two: “Hey…did you finish off all of the chai without letting me know? I’m having to settle for a Lipton’s…s’pose you don’t want any, do you?”
Which one sounded familiar? Which option do you want to sound familiar?
I prefer option one as I want to think that I’m evolving enough to see the beauty in all things, most of the time…even when I’m out of chai and have to make due with what’s around. But I know that option two is an all too familiar modus operandi. Something happens and a complaint finds its way to the front of the palate and often escapes past the lips before it can be filtered into a positive response or no response at all.
We all know people who complain about seemingly everything. Nothing is right, or good enough, or is too fast or too slow. The service was lousy, the movie had a terrible ending, the popcorn was stale, the ticket price outrageous. And even when things seem to be going well the complaints still come. It’s as though the ability to language differently is completely out of the scope of awareness.
And it’s difficult to hang around with people who complain. It’s a contagion. It’s as though you get led along the pathway to recognizing all that could be better. So, if that holds some truth, then the opposite must hold some truth as well. What if we made a choice to NOT complain for an entire day? That’s right…the entire day. Could you do it?
In fairness, for all of us who do complain, we can find solace in the fact that the brain is wired toward a negativity bias. This has been discussed by neuroscientists including Rick Hanson, Ph.D. in the book Buddha’s’ Brain and others. Humans tend to recall negative experiences more readily than positive ones. The point, however, is not to suppress the negative but rather understand that we have the power to shift toward a more positive bias.
I don’t know if I could, but I am certainly willing to give it a go. I’m more than curious to see if I catch myself complaining. And I know that obstacles will pop up that would normally trigger my complaint button.
Imagine this. A complaint-free day. Try it just once. You never know…that too, might be contagious and you’ll be fully able to enjoy the sunrise and a cuppa Lipton’s!
