Those of you who read this blog on a regular basis know that one of the messages that is a common theme is taking time to look after yourself. I’m big on that. I am often in classes encouraging people to make time for themselves, particularly amidst an often hectic schedule. Getting yourself to a regular class is part of the strategy as is taking moments throughout each day to connect to your breath and dive deeper into your heart.
My thought for this week is looking outside of ourselves and being there for others. Have you ever been in a conversation with somebody, telling them about something that’s been going on in your world and they reply by turning your story into their own, somehow shifting the conversation to being about them?
One of my favorite lines in the movie “Beaches” with Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey is when Bette’s character says to Barbara’s character, “OK…enough about me. Tell me, what do you think about me?”. That’s what I’m talking about.
One of the limbs of the eight-faceted path of yoga are the precepts of the Yamas. They include: Ahimsa (Compassion/Nonviolence), Satya (Truthfulness), Asteya (Non-stealing), Brahmacharya (Moderation) and Aparigraha (Non-possessiveness). The topic this week relates to the third yama of Asteya, or non-stealing.
So how does flipping a conversation back to oneself relate to asteya? As Deborah Adele writes in her book The Yamas & Niyamas-Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice, “asteya calls us to live with integrity and reciprocity.” When we undertake “one-upmanship” on somebody we are stealing from them in not letting them be heard or express how they are feeling. We bring ourselves into a place of needing to speak our voice and not offering to be silent and simply listen.
And just as last week’s topic was around leaving space for yourself, this week is the other side of that. Being able to hold space for others. Communicating from our hearts and being received by someone who listens is often a rare gift.
Is this a gift you can practice this week? Can you offer a safe place for people to be heard? Can you notice when you want to jump into the conversation and make it about yourself and resist?
This is part of the yogic practice of Asteya. It’s part of the process of taking our yoga off the mat and into our day.
Try it…it feels amazing to be a great listener!
