It’s almost here…the day of lovers, Cupid’s arrow, red roses, Valentines and chocolates. At least that’s what the marketing enthusiasts tout it to be and cynical me just likes to think that it’s truly about love…in all its many incarnations.
We use the word “love” so easily and yet can have difficulty vocalizing it to others. For example, “I loveto put sprinkles on cupcakes”, “I love singing along to the Beatles”, “I love going on vacation”, “I love the features of satellite radio”, etc. You get the idea. But when it comes to saying “I love you” directly to someone else, it can often get stuck in our throats.
I didn’t grow up in a family where we said, “I love you” to each other. We expressed our love through actions and acceptance. Through giving to each other or supporting a sibling by attending their baseball game or concert are examples from my family. So, when I started to have relationships, those “I love you’s” just didn’t come out of my mouth easily. I had to really work at it and recognize that if I said it and it wasn’t reciprocated that I’d have to manage my own feelings of rejection.
Although love seems to be inherent to all beings, I believe it to also be a practice. How do you practice being loving? Are you loving to others and not yourself? Is what you say coming from a compassionate and well-intentioned place? Do your actions reflect love or some other emotion?
One of the many gifts our yoga practice offers is that it gives us a venue to connect to the beat of our own heart and to be in a place of loving kindness. Ahimsa, the first yama, is often translated as non-violence, or as I prefer, compassion…towards self, towards others and towards the Earth. We begin our yoga from this place with the practice constantly challenging us to stay with this compassionate intention. We can begin to slip out of self-love by overworking, under-eating, saying “yes” when we would be better served to say “no” and pushing ourselves beyond our own physical boundaries.
To be loving to others seems more obvious. Random acts of kindness are actions more than bumper stickers. Can we look into the eyes of those we care about and genuinely tell them how dear they are to us and that we love them? Can we treat all beings with respect even when we don’t agree with them? Can we be kind to all animals, not just those that are cute and fuzzy?
And we could all be more loving to this planet by raising our awareness about how our consumption, our footprint and our story of “stuff” impacts the balance of the environment. Do you really need that plastic bag? Could we do away with less packaging? Can we take public transport or ride our bike rather than hopping into our car? Can we enjoy more peaceful moments without loud music, leaf blowers and lawn mowers?
So as Valentine’s Day approaches, ask yourself how you express your love…to this planet, to your beloved, to your family & friends and most importantly, to yourself.
Will you be my Valentine?
