This Global Seva Challenge has me doing things that I’ve never done before. I am undertaking my own process of stepping out of my shadow and into the light of stuff I’m unfamiliar (and uncomfortable) with. Things such as asking for donation prizes for an upcoming raffle. How do I just walk into a local pet store and ask for something for free? I begin by having a conversation with myself in the car on my way…”Ok, so you know this is for a cause that’s bigger than you. You know that you’ll be helping out people who are less fortunate and have no voice. Be brave. You can do this. The worst is that they’ll say “no”. Then why do I have this familiar feeling of nausea in the pit of my stomach?”.
This is my self-talk. The two Jaynes chatting away before doing something which I don’t feel comfortable doing. So, being a yogini who strives to continuously evolve, I decide to delve deeper. I have been asking myself the question, “what is it about asking someone for something that makes you uncomfortable?”. The answer I have come up with is hearing the word “no”.
There it is. It’s out there. The fear of hearing “no” for an answer. I realized that I’ve held this fear for quite some time. In fact, I have been so fearful of the “NO” answer that I will often not even bother to ask the question, just in case I hear “no”. Wow! What a revelation!
Part of my own growth is getting to the root of what holds me back and this journey along the path of raising $20,000 this year is not only about the money. It’s about discovery and about truly embracing my own role as a conscious leader. It means I have to take risks and one of those perceived risks is being told “no”. Being told I can’t do something. That gets to me (obviously as it’s held me back from asking in the past!).
Now that my fear of hearing “no” has stepped out of the shadow and into the light, a couple of things have happened. The first is that I’m not taking the “no” answer personally. I just have to wait for the “yes” and trust that the right people will say it. The second is I wonder what else is lurking in my shadow. What else will I uncover as I step not only off my mat, but back onto it again and again.
Now I just feel curious more than fearful. AH! I think that’s called a shift or even better…transformation.
What’s hiding in your shadow? How will you bring it into the light so that it’s no longer scary? I have one suggestion. Know that it’s there and know that by stepping onto your mat and into your practice you can make friends.
Let the light shine!
