Have you ever had the experience where you are greeted by someone who gives you a hug and you’re not sure if they meant it? You know, the one where they avoid eye contact, turn their head away, throw just one arm around you and keep at least six inches between the two of you? It’s the hug that is the complete opposite to how a child who has missed you comes charging up to you, leaping into your arms and throwing themselves into a full on wrap around type of hug.
My thought for this week is around connection. The simple act of honoring the person standing opposite you. Now hugs aren’t always appropriate and sometimes we simply don’t wish to receive one. But I’m betting most of the time it’s not the hug but the feeling of vulnerability that can often accompany physical contact.
A moment is felt when someone truly embraces us. For me, it’s a feeling of being loved; of being supported; of surrender. It’s allowing myself to let go into another persons arms without the need to control or judge the moment. It’s when we soften our defenses and allow another person to communicate to us without words.
One of my teachers, Nischala Joy Devi, describes hugs as being the “pure connection of one heart to another”. When you face someone and connect your heart centers you acknowledge and honor each other in a place of acceptance…even if it’s for only a brief moment. It’s as though you are saying “I see and honor the light in you and can connect to you on a level that isn’t merely superficial”- in other words Namasté.
Having lived in both Australia and the USA, people greet others socially in slightly different ways. Aussies will often give a social kiss on the cheek (right cheek to right cheek, no hug). Americans will do the handshake or the slap on the back hug (no kiss on the cheek). And sometimes, people mix things up a bit in both countries depending on how well people know each other. An Aussie mate might throw in a bear hug and an American a peck on the cheek…whatever method, what is most important is the connection.
This past week I had a student return to class following the death of her husband. I gave her a big hug and welcomed her back to the class. To this she replied, “Thanks for the hug, I needed that. I can never get too many hugs.”
So if in doubt, hug it out. It might touch someone in a place longing to be recognized.
