It’s quite typical at this time of year to pause and reflect over the previous 12-months. We project into the future by setting goals and resolutions and, sometimes, when we get to mid-February what we have earnestly resolved to change has slipped off our radar. We wonder what happened to our New Year’s Eve willpower and determination. Change is challenging and when we slip up, when we realize how human we are, we can feel ashamed of our inability to “get it right, for once!”
One challenge we have when we set goals is that often they have an extrinsic focus, one that is outside of ourselves. It’s not an uncommon story to hear how people dip into states of malaise or depression upon accomplishing a major goal such as graduating from college, reaching a sales or fundraising target or retiring from the workforce. Our focus is drawn to hitting the target and when it’s over, we can get lost in what’s next. Goal-setting itself isn’t a bad thing as it can definitely point us in a direction that is desirable and offer certain levels of motivation. But it can also feel empty.
My thought of the week has been to recognize the common cycle of the New Year’s Resolution and shift the focus from an external to an internal one – to that of setting an intention. I remember one of the first times during a yoga class I heard the instructor say, “Now…take a deep breath and set your intention.” I thought to myself, “What? What do you mean by setting my intention? I’m here. I’ve shown up! What more is there to do?” And perhaps that was my unconscious intention, to simply make time to step onto my mat.
Intentions are deeper than goals. As I heard it described, when we connect to our highest intentions, we connect to purpose. Intentions are the state of “being” as we are doing whatever we are doing. And if we can understand the intentions that we hold as being most important to us, it’s as though we are inscribing our own daily personal mantra of how we wish to be in our everyday actions, words and deeds. One way to tap into what you hold as wisdom from the best version of yourself is to ask this question, “When I feel that I am at ease, fully present and connected to myself, to others and to the earth, what am I doing?”
I love this question as it gives us a personal frame of reference for what it feels like, in our own skin, to be living in that connection to purpose. When we don’t act in accordance with our highest selves, we can actually sense the physical sensation and if we’re paying attention, we have a choice in that moment to alter what we are doing. Alongside that practice, when we notice we aren’t in harmony with our deepest intentions, we begin to shift by offering ourselves compassion for being imperfectly human. We are motivated how to be in our lives regardless of the outcome.
So imagine that we are sitting opposite a dear one, a beloved. The two of you are sitting in silence, in a space of love and ease and your dear one asks you, “What’s most important to you?”. How would you answer? What do you hold dear and valuable from the deepest essence of your heart space? Allow yourself to be with this scenario for a few moments. Close your eyes, find your breath and hear the question being asked of you.
Whatever arises is a sign of your highest self and the wisdom that it wishes to share. Listen as this is the truth of who you are wanting to be expressed through your relationship with yourself, to others and to all beings, known and unknown on this earth. Instead of setting a short-term resolution at the turning of this years’ calendar, dig a bit deeper and sense the seed of your deepest intention. Personally speaking, I can’t wait to see what blossoms in the new year!
